Just Remembering...

Here is a lovely remembrance of my mother written by her wonderful visiting teacher. I just love this story so much and am ever grateful Lynne took the time to write it down and share it with our family. I'm a firm believer in visiting teaching.

My Visiting Teaching Testimony

by Lynne Kertamus Porter

In 2003, as the Visiting Teaching Coordinator in my ward, I was working with the Relief Society President to assign visiting teachers to several new sisters who moved into the ward. We worked for quite some time to reorganize districts, split companionships, and prayerfully consider new assignments. However, no matter what we tried, we could not seem find visiting teachers to assign to Doris Shurtliff.

While we discussed various alternatives, I had a ‘nagging’ feeling that we should assign Doris to me. However, with my busy schedule and overwhelming responsibilities I could not rationalize these feelings. Finally I blurted out, “I’ll add Doris to my list.” Knowing my situation, the Relief Society President counseled me about taking on additional responsibilities. Nevertheless, I insisted that I could do it.

However, driving home that day, I thought to myself, “Are you nuts?!” You see, I was a brand new mom; a first-time ‘older’ mom who was suffering from painful post-partum depression. At the same time, I was enrolled in college to obtain a second degree and my course work was demanding. Instead of sleeping while my newborn napped, I studied, which rendered me physically and mentally exhausted.

Since we didn’t have a telephone number for Doris, I decided that all I had to do was send her a card each month. I introduced myself as her new visiting teacher and gave her my phone number. For the next five months I sent cards with a note and told her to call if she would like me to visit. One day I received a card from Doris with a note for me to call and make an appointment to visit. My original thought was ‘oh no, not one more thing I have to do!’

But, out of a sense of duty to fulfill my calling as a visiting teacher, I telephoned Doris. I told her I had a baby and asked if she wouldn’t mind if I brought him. She assured me he was welcome, too! I had always felt a bit awkward on the first visit to a new sister, especially a sister who I don’t know. I was nervous and anxious and worried that my son would have a crying spell, or worse yet, have a dirty diaper that needed to be changed.

However, all my fears vanished when Doris invited me to sit down. She immediately asked about me and my baby. She shared with me a little about herself and we talked about people we both knew from Glendora. Over an hour later, when I drove home, I remember thinking, “Doris is an incredible person and I’m excited to be her visiting teacher!”

For the next six years, we visited and visited and visited and laughed and laughed and laughed. Time flew by while we sat and visited. When my son or I was sick, we visited on the phone and she sent me get-well cards. I hated to miss a visit. One time I was experiencing car problems and instead of missing my visit, I drove my car to the mechanic and had their courtesy van drop me off at Doris’ house. I pushed my son home in the stroller after our visit.

For six years we talked about family, politics, and sometimes family politics. We shared recipes, secrets, and funny stories. We commiserated about the not-so-fun stuff of motherhood and the aches and pains of getting older. I got to know her siblings as her sister from Canada would call almost every time I was there! She shared stories about her grandsons serving missions, the births of her great-grandchildren, and the pain she felt for her daughters during their time of suffering; she always wanted and wished she could do more to help.

Some days she was my surrogate mother, counselor, teacher, comisserater, comedian, surrogate grandmother to my son…but, always my friend.

I know that the Lord knows each of us individually. He has a divinely inspired visiting teaching program. He knew that at that time in my life I needed a woman who was wise and compassionate, witty and caring.

But most importantly, he knew Doris. And, He knew that she was a woman who was wise and compassionate, witty and caring.

At her recent funeral, her grandchildren shared their memories of Doris giving them gift cards to McDonalds on their birthdays. It was then that I knew I was more than just a visiting teacher to Doris….she treated me like ‘one of the family’…you see, she gave my son gift cards to McDonalds on his birthdays and I still had one tucked away in my wallet to use on a special occasion for him.

Doris always made me feel better about myself as a result of my associations with her. And, for that, I will be forever grateful to have been called to be her visiting teacher.